I was a some times user of Face Book a couple of years ago, I really only used it to help promote my business, ok it was great to keep up with friends, but I only went on once a week or so. I was busy with a new start up business (The Fabulous Vodka Company) I didn’t have much spare time as I was travelling all over the country selling my vodka. I was also still blissfully living on my narrow boat (see my earlier blogs) I really could not see anything that would get me to give up my home, little did I know. One friday I received a message from someone I didn’t know, however. on reading the message it turned out to be from Sarah, my old school friend, the girl I’d always wanted but never got to be with. Over the next few weeks we spent most evenings chatting to each other, and both of us promising to meet up at some point. It turned out that Sarah has 5 boys, aged from 9 to 22, and she lived on the south coast which was 100 miles away from me. Well, one day we did meet up, and I couldn’t believe how little Sarah had changed, she was just like the girl I’d last seen 16 years earlier, when we’d met up for a drink one night. It soon became apparent to me that I’d never really gotten over my feelings for Sarah, and unbeknownst to me she was feeling much the same. We soon started making plans to be together full time, we decided that because my business was based in Marlow, Buckinghamshire, we would get a house in High Wycombe. I’d spent as much time as I could down with Sarah and the boys, getting to know them all, but it was a daunting prospect for all of us, for the boys it was a brand new start, new schools for 3 of them, new home for the next eldest, and Devon, the eldest, was going set up home in Brighton with his girlfriend. The 3 younger boys had never had a dad around full time before, and I’d never been a dad before, I wasn’t sure how I’d be after all I was 46 years old, and used to being on my own, having my own stuff around, having peace and quiet when I wanted it etc. All in all, I’d had quite a selfish lifestyle, but for all that, the question of did I really want to leave my boat never entered my head, I’d found out that all I really wanted was to be with Sarah (it was all I’ve ever wanted really) So, on the 28th of December 2010 (my birthday) we all moved in together, it was a frantic few day getting the house cleaned and getting us settled in. I’d become a full time dad for the first time, I was very lucky in that I got on very well with all the boys, and they seemed to accept having a new man in their lives. I will admit that I found it really difficult at times, when the younger boy would kick off for what I thought was no reason at all, and peace and quiet have become a thing of the past, and there’s always some problem or argument going on, usually over something really trivial. I’ll leave it to Sarah’s blog on Ganderingdreams to explain the issues we’ve had with schools and how things are now with the boys, but we have a very full house, especially since Devon, the eldest has temporarily moved in with us, with his dog! For my part I feel very lucky, firstly, to have Sarah, and secondly, that the boys have accepted me as well as they have. That has certainly made it easier on me, and even though I do still feel bemused and a bit stumped for what to do at times, I do find it amazingly rewarding and satisfying when things go well, and there’s no where else that I’d rather be than at home with Sarah and our boys.
P.S. Sarah says I now sometimes have a terrified spaced out look on my face …lol
- Just Sayin’: On Being a Stepdad (gloucestercitynews.net)
- Essential Tools for the 16 Million Stepdads in America-Just in Time for Father’s Day (prweb.com)